It's been 10 years...

Woke up on Saturday and there was SNOW clumped in my windowscreen, snow lining the ledge, snow covering the backyard, snow everywhere! It was such a delight and it really lifted my spirits.

Currently, I’m sitting in bed with a hot cup of cranberry vanilla tea, and I’m ready to dive into this week’s newsletter. This will be my last letter of the year (probably), because I’m planning to skip next week1. So as we wrap up 2024, I’d love to hear from you! What brought you joy this year? What made the year worth living, even through all the hardships and struggles it wrought? Would love to know!

From the heart 💗

I can’t believe 2024 is over!?!?

I feel so unprepared for the end of 2024. In my heart, it’s still, like, maybe April. The year has barely kicked off, what do you MEAN it’s actually almost 2025? That’s not even a real year!

Alas, the calendar tells me that this is happening and I can’t stop it, no matter how hard I might try. So let’s reflect, shall we?

This year has been…hard.

I hate saying that. I hate acknowledging that I’m in a tough period of my life. I’m not sure how much of that distaste stems from a toxic positivity mindset and how much is because I hate to admit that there are things outside of my control, and sometimes those things conspire to make my life suck a bit.

Listen — 2024 had some good moments. I graduated with my MFA! I went to the Lambda retreat! I went on not one but two writing retreats with friends, including to a part of the country (the PNW) I’ve never visited before! I had some adventures here and there, and they were great.

But 2024 also had a lot of sucky moments. I was sick a few times. I was depressed…pretty consistently — hospitalized for a night even, in January. I got a lot of rejections on short stories and my novel. Things that I wanted to happen simply didn’t pan out, and I was left disappointed. And also, the finances were shit all year.

But as much as I love doing a retrospective, I remain an eternal optimist despite my best efforts. I’m always looking toward the future with the hope and belief that things will be better. And there’s no other time like the end of the year to really bask in the glow of “what could be.”

I’m looking forward to 2025 in the hopes that it brings something new and refreshing to my life. To wit, I have some plans — perhaps one might even call them goals?

In the broader sphere of my writing life, I want to continue to read lots and pin down my routine + reading system. I haven’t read my owned books as much as I would like this past year, so in 2025, I want to get through at least 15-20 books that I already own that are on my physical TBR. I also want to continue to pursue strong relationships with other writers. By February, I’ll have chosen my mentee for Round Table Mentorship, and I’m so excited to devote lots of time next year to their manuscript.

For my own writing life, my goal is simple: I want to finish two books to send to my agent. Now, this may sound ambitious, but the thing is, I’m already close with both of them! One of them is fully drafted, one is at least halfway drafted, and I really do think I can whip them into shape in 2025.

I would love to write 1-2 more short stories, revise the two I’ve already written, and send all four of them out into the world. I also want to reignite my love for poetry.

One non-writing goal is to continue the search for my identity outside of writing. I had a mild identity crisis earlier this year wondering who I am without writing — is there anything interesting about me??? So I want to develop at least one new hobby and a habit of going out at least once a week, ideally twice or more! I mean, I live in NYC, I’ve gotta get out more!

Finally, I want to work on getting my finances righted. Less spending, more paying-off bilss and saving!

From the camera roll 📸

I promised snow, here you go!

From the page ✍️

10 years ago today I first entered the query trenches…

I tried to re-read the first query I sent out…but it was so cringe-worthy I had a full-body reaction and had to look away immediately. And now I’m spiraling a little about how bad that book was, how shoddy my query was, and how embarrassing it is that I sent so many queries to so many amazing agents!

Let’s shove that shame aside for now, and focus on the task ahead: talking about some of the things I wish I knew 10 years ago — about writing, publishing, and life.

1. I wish I knew I was gay. Honestly, that would have saved me so much angst, set me up for success much sooner, and really just completely altered the course of my life, lol.

2. I wish I knew that you don’t have to query your first book. I had revised it plenty, including in workshops with my peers at college, but I wish I’d given myself permission to view it as a practice book instead of shoving it out the door.

3. I wish I knew that $50 is not nearly enough money to share your most intimate thoughts with strangers on the internet. In fact, I wish I knew that some thoughts are inside thoughts, period.

4. I wish I knew that it would be okay if I didn’t start publishing immediately. This one is still maybe a work-in-progress, something I continue to learn every day, but at 21, as a college senior, all I could think about was how I needed to get started.

5. I wish I knew that there was a whole big world out there I hadn’t even dreamed of yet, and that things would get better.

And now, some things I’m glad I didn’t know back in December 2014.

1. I’m glad I didn’t know how long it would take before I did sign with an agent. I don’t know that I would have given up2, but it would have daunted me and probably kept me from trying for years — years that I was able to spend honing my craft.

2. I’m glad I didn’t know just how much I still had to learn. If I’d known at 21 everything that I didn’t know and have since learned — about writing, publishing, and life — I would have never dared send out any queries. I would have never dared leave the house, probably!

It’s been a long 10 years. I don’t know what the next 10 years will hold. Will I finally sell a book and see my dream of being a published author come to life? Or will I keep writing, striving, and not have it come to fruition. Either is possible.

That’s both scary and liberating.

From the shelf 📚

The Most Wonderful Crime of the Year3, by Ally Carter

Maybe taking a risk with this one, cause I haven’t finished the book yet (as of this writing, I’m 42% in), but I have been eating this book up for the past few days! I’m obsessed with the wintry setting, the high stakes, the hate-to-love for her and he’s-always-liked-her of it all, and I’m just…so into this story. On Friday night, I stayed up for an hour past my bedtime just devouring it.

Alla prossima 👋

I’m fresh outta words and thoughts. So I’ll sign off for now.

Remember to keep Palestine in your thoughts and actions.

— Karis xoxo