Let's be ambitious, kay?

Welcome to From the Mind of Karis, a monthly update & essay newsletter from author, freelance editor, and podcaster Karis Rogerson. It’s lovely to have you here! You may want to read read this in your browser for best results, but follow your peace and read it in your inbox if you prefer! <3

Hello my loves 😍 

We had a run of incredible weather in NYC recently. As I write this, the sun is still shining, but the rain will come.⁶  

I’m unsettled. Recently the news is just horrifying. Appalling job numbers. The president declaring war on Chicago. The State Department declaring war on, like, everyone who isn’t a Christian. Israel continuing its genocide of Palestinians. The ongoing years-long genocide in the DRC. Girl, the tariffs. The hose is open and out comes a torrent of awful shit and it’s just neverending.

But I am searching out pockets of goodness & hope in the midst of it. The flotillas carrying aid to Gaza. Sunny days followed by cozy thunderstorm Saturdays. Evenings of stomach-aching laughter with my roommate. Cuddling with Lizzie. Books that help me escape or funnel my rage. Writing. Friends. Hope, hope, hope, springing eternal indeed. It is keeping me human to open my eyes and take in the tragedies and feel the injustices and acknowledge the cruelty. It is keeping me human to open my eyes and seek for goodness. It is keeping me human to attempt goodness of my own.

Welcome, friends. It’s the September issue of my now-monthly newsletter. I hope you find something in here that does you good — a book rec, an essay to inspire, a piece of content to enjoy later — and I hope you find sprigs of hope in the desert of our day-to-day. Let’s go.

From the heart 💗

I’m shamelessly ambitious. I want big things, and I want them hard, and I go after them. In undergrad, I applied for New York Times internships — this was before I had a single internship under my belt for experience. I have applied for fellowships I have no business even thinking the name of, residencies that host the most brilliant and forward-thinking minds of generations, jobs above my experience level.

As a novelist, my goals are stratospheric. I want big advances, strong marketing, bestseller lists, awards, conference panels, endless signing lines, name and face recognition. I want to be your favorite author’s favorite author — and let’s be real, I want to be Chappell Roan’s favorite author, too.

As a human, my hopes are ambitious. I want to earn enough at my day job / in my writing career to have a spacious home with things like a living room (unheard of!!!) and a plush green velvet L-shaped couch and several cats and a pool in the apartment complex. I want to be beautiful and admired. I want to be loved so well and so intensely by my partner that it makes other women wonder if they shouldn’t date women, actually.⁷ I want, I want, I want. I crave. I work toward.

I’ve been thinking about ambition lately — women’s ambition, mainly. Taylor and Travis got engaged and the discourse homed in on him as a man supporting his ambitious woman’s moves. Yes, snaps, we all deserve this. On the flipside, I keep reading thinkpieces on trad wives and the “soft life” and its return to conservativsm and I have feelings. I have thoughts. I have ~an essay~ to write!

I’m not a scholar or a deep thinker so I don’t have anything to say about the broader culture and whatnot. I am just an ambitious woman who wants to speak from the heart.

In some ways, my ambition has saved my life. My first psych hospitalization was in 2013, and the way I got myself out of the suicidal hole — and horrifying ward — I’d become trapped in was by listing the things I wanted. They ranged from trips I wanted to be able to go on to big dream — to cover the Olympics the following year; to publish books; to see new lands.

That list reignited something in me that I’d forgotten about, that had briefly gone dormant. A love of life and a fire to create and to achieve.

In some ways, my ambition has harmed me. I beat myself up, a lot, for not having reached the peaks of my career yet — or worse, for fearing that I already have peaked, and at a height that wasn’t enough. I spiral. I wail. I despair.

And then I remember that the only way to achieve my ambitions is to keep going. So even when it’s harming me, my ambition is reminding me that to live is to achieve.⁸  

I believe in ambition. Its power to motivate. Its power to inspire creation. Its power in the hands of those who would wield it well. I believe in ambition, and I won’t be shamed for mine, and you know what? You shouldn’t be either. Even if you’re a woman. Even if society wants you to make yourself smaller, quieter, tamer.

Fuck that.

Be big, be loud, be wild. Be ambitious. Let’s change the world.

From the shelf 📚

• The Match Faker ¹ by Ruby Barrett — I adored this sweet and swoony romance from one of my favorite writers — and people — the one and only Ruby Barrett! A case of mistaken identity leads Jasmine and Nick to pretend they’re dating for her coworkers and his family. But real feelings come into play, and the book is messy and emotional and sometimes I want to tear my hair out over Jasmine but I also loved her so much? If you want the ebook, check it out on Amazon, too! Out now!

• Coldwire ² by Chloe Gong — This is a YA dystopian that genuinely blew my mind. I mean, it’s by Chloe Gong, what more do I need to say? JK I’ve got more to say! This book is twisty and bigger-brained than I can genuinely comprehend but the heart of it is the characters and their relationships and connections and holy shit it’s just SO smart and I sobbed at the end! Out Nov. 4th, so you can preorder now!

• Dream on, Ramona Riley ³ by Ashley Herring Blake — Helloooo spicy and cute sapphic romance, let’s gooo! Dylan is famous and Ramona wants to be in costume design and they crash together one summer but actually, they met decades ago and shared a sweet kiss as pre-teens and now they’re somehow suddenly back in each other’s lives and oooooh my god. I fell for both of these women, and I fell for their super swoony romance. It’s been out since May, go buy it!

From the page ✍️ 

Why do you write like you’re running out of time? was, I think, meant to be an insult. Considering it was Aaron Burr who sang it to Alexander Hamilton in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton, that’s my best guess, and I’m sticking with it! Yet the first time I heard those words, in the winter of 2023 in the upper levels of a Broadway theater, I felt a painful kind of being seen.

Write day and night like you’re running out of time? was, likely, not supposed to be aspirational. Yet here I am, wishing I could write day and night — because I fear I am running out of time.

I’m not Alexander Hamilton, thankfully.⁴  

But as I talked about above, I am so ambitious. My dreams eclipse the time I have on Earth…or so I fear. The past 32 years of living and writing and pursuing publishing haven’t done much to convince me that I’m not about to run out of time, either — every day I grow older, and my publishing career has yet to kick off. Every day I grow closer to being unable to write anymore, and yet the world hasn’t seen a traditionally published book with my name on the cover.

The urge to write like I’m running out time is deeper than that, too. I started writing for a reason, and that reason wasn’t just the hope of someday seeing my name on published books or any of the trappings we associat with literary success. I started writing because, from the moment I gained consciousness, I have longed to connect with others. I crave seeing others, knowing them, as much as I crave being seen, being known.

I’m obsessed with humans and humanity. We as a species are beautiful and innovative and creative and capable of so much good. Yet the flipside of this capability is that we can use our beauty to diminish others, our innovations to destroy, and our creativity to do harm. I’m fascinated by humanity and what humans have done. I adore big cities with stunning architecture as much or more as I adore being out in nature. My favorite place to be is surrounded by others. Nothing makes me feel alive more than communicating.

Writing, for me, has always been about connection. I’ve always wanted to change the world, leave it better than I found it.⁵ As a teen and young adult, I thought my mission was to convert people to Christianity. Now, I see it as multifaceted and expansive: I can bring joy and the feeling of being seen to some readers. Others might feel uncomfortable or called out, squirming in their seats. Ideally, readers will leave my work feeling changed and propelled to something better, whatever that looks like for them.

I dream of being called “prolific” just as much as I dream of being “talented.” I want to publish, and I want to publish lots.

On top of this, I live with, at best, simmering suicidal ideation. My depression is my shadow, my constant companion, and one way it manifests is with a preoccupation with death — sometimes as fear, others as longing. Whether I’m experiencing suicidal ideation or plauged by terror of dying, the result is the same: I don’t think I have enough time to accomplish what I’ve set out to do.

So I write. I write like I’m running out time. I hear the disdain in Aaron Burr’s voice when he asks Hamilton why do you write like you’re running out of time? and I say, because what if I am?

Alla prossima 👋

It’s been a month and change. There’s much to share!

Last Sunday, I released my latest — and penultimate for now — Sundays with Karis video. I chatted with Maggie Rapier, whose debut Soulgazer ⁹ hit the USA Today bestseller list in its first week (congrats Maggie!).

My conversation with Maggie made my heart feel a bit more full. It was healing in many ways. I hope you’ll take a look, give it a watch, and consider purchasing a copy of her book!

The Write Way of Life, my craft-focused author interview podcast, was on publishing hiatus for August, but that doesn’t mean we were quiet! I interviewed folks for the first five (5!) episodes of season two, which is a romance-focused season. Our first episode was an overview on “What is Romance?” and I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with Jen Prokop, one of the hosts of Fated Mates, about the history of romance, the romance community, standout romance novels, and some soapbox items.

We’ll be announcing our next guest on the pod Instagram tomorrow, so give us a follow and keep your eyes peeled!

In the meantime, you can catch up on that first episode on Apple podcasts or below (Spotify).

That’s all for this month, folks. I hope September treats you well. Catch ya on the flipside,

— Karis xoxo

1  That’s a Bookshop.org affiliate link — should you purchase through it, I’ll receive a small commission at no extra cost to you!

2  That’s a Bookshop.org affiliate link — should you purchase through it, I’ll receive a small commission at no extra cost to you!

3  That’s a Bookshop.org affiliate link — should you purchase through it, I’ll receive a small commission at no extra cost to you!

4  Hamilton is a work of art but the real Hamilton? Not good. The enslavement of people is a blight on history and a mark against anyone who profited because of it. Full stop.

5  My mom used ot tell us, when we traveled, to “leave places better than we found them,” and that’s how I feel about, well, life on Earth.

6  I have returned to this and now the rain is here LOL.

7  And I want to love fiercely and well in return.

8  Also — medication, therapy, good treatments. These are all crucial and necessary to my healing journey.

9  That’s a Bookshop.org affiliate link — should you purchase through it, I’ll receive a small commission at no extra cost to you!