Pride: An Essay

Thoughts on pride & community from your local Karis 🌈

Pride1 is inseparable from community.

I’m sure there are people who will think that’s actually some sort of paradox. In fact, the way I was raised to think of pride, I, too, probably would have said it was a paradox a few short years ago.

But when it comes to celebrating Pride, so much of what I feel proud of is the queer community. I am proud of who I am and I am learning to celebrate myself in all the ways, of course, but my first introduction to queerness was by meeting people. Gay men, mostly, who were in my classes and who worked with me and who were the first people that made me stop and think — hey, maybe the beliefs I was raised to hold about queerness were…wrong, actually?

Eventually I met more queer people — trans and nonbinary people and lesbians and bisexuals of all genders. I learned about asexuality. I heard about how the first Pride was a protest and that we have trans women of color to thank for so much — and on that note, we as a society have so much work to do to protect our trans siblings. And as I got to know this community, I had a revelation.

As a child, I was raised to believe that fellow Christians, my “brothers and sisters in Christ,” were going to be the only community that ever unconditionally loved and accepted me. We were the best.

But then I met the queer community and that belief was turned on its head. Because here were people, many of them outside the Church and in fact reviled by the Church, who loved me. Who sent me money when I was broke. Who read my books and hyped me up. Who held me when I was so depressed I thought maybe death was preferable to life. Who loved me — unconditionally, wholly, without question.

Eventually, after years of allyship, I realized an even better truth, which is that I’m queer myself.

I’ve written before about how I embraced pride once I came out, so I won’t rehash that here. Suffice it to say, it’s important to me. It’s important to be happy with who I am and to celebrate the kaleidoscopic joy of my identity.

But I’m learning that so much of Pride has to be about celebrating community as well. We are stronger together, and community includes all the queers. A fight for liberation for one should be a fight for liberation for all.

There are queer people across the world; we are legion, and we are everywhere. We are stronger together, and as long as one of us is suffering or oppressed, none of us are free.

This Pride, my thoughts are not just on rainbows and parades and confetti; my thoughts are in Gaza, in Sudan, in Congo, in Ukraine. My thoughts are in every country that has homophobic and transphobic legislation meant to eradicate us from existence. My thoughts are with every queer and trans person who has suffered.

Pride is about celebrating community, and Pride is about fighting for community. That’s what I want to think about and remember this June — and every day after.

Alla prossima 👋

That’s all for this week, folks. A short one, because I’m traveling and didn’t have time to do the whole shebang. I hope it means something to you, regardless. Love y’all.

— Karis xoxo